Books To Read For Relationship Anxiety
Are you looking for a book to read in between your therapy sessions? Welcome to the Books To Read series. Every few weeks, I’ll pick a different topic and add a new blog with my recommended books to the series. If you’re looking for a book on a specific topic to supplement your therapy, reach out to us and let us know so we can create a series for that topic!
Attached by Amir Levine
A lot of times when we think of relationship anxiety, what we may be talking about is attachment style. Attachment style refers to the way an individual relates to other people. Those with an anxious attachment style can be preoccupied with their relationships, thinking about their relationship often and wondering when this relationship anxiety will go away. They often worry about their partner's ability to love them back and might have a strong fear of abandonment. Individuals with an avoidant attachment often equate intimacy which a loss of independence. These people may try and minimize closeness and end relationships when they begin to get too close. The last attachment style discussed in the book is a secure attachment style. Those with a secure attachment feel comfortable with intimacy and may approach relationships with a sense of warmness. Understanding your attachment style can help bring clarity and closure to previous relationships as well as improve the current relationships in your life.
Codependent No More by Melody Beattie
Does someone else’s problem become your problem? Do you feel like your closest relationships are taking advantage of you? Is it hard to not take things personally? Do you find yourself making excuses for others behavior? If you relate to any of these, this might be the book for you. The book includes self-tests, exercises, and personal reflections that can help start your healing journey. I believe that there isn’t negative dependency (as codependency can often imply), there’s simply dependency that’s working or dependency that’s not working. However, I think this book offers clarity that can be helpful for anyone who is struggling with relationship anxiety.
Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski
I can’t recommend this book enough! Emily Nagoski is a Doctor of Health Behavior and Human Sexuality. In Come as You Are, she discusses everyone’s unique sexuality and how this impacts women specifically. She helps women work towards removing judgment around their own sexuality and normalizing their sexual wellbeing. In a world where women’s sexuality is often misunderstood, Emily’s book serves as its own world of healing. While this book doesn’t discuss relationship anxiety specifically, this book is beneficial for all people, whether in a relationship or not.
More Than A Body by Lexie and Lindsay Kite
More Than A Body is a book written by two sisters, Dr.’s Lexie and Lindsay Kite. The mantra’s they share are “Your body is an instrument, not an ornament” as well as “Positive body image isn’t believing your body looks good; it is knowing your body is good, regardless of how it looks.” The book discusses these mantras in depth as well as all of the systems that play a part in how we view our bodies. Part of healing relationship anxiety is developing an inner sense of self worth and confidence. If you’re looking to develop body image resilience, this is a great book to start with.
