EMDR Therapy in NYC & NJ
You’ve done the work and now you’re ready to actually feel different
You’ve listened to the cliché “live in the present.” You’ve had the conversations with friends where they give you the advice to “let it go.” Maybe they even hint that you’re simply hanging on to something. You’ve gone to therapy, read all the self-help books, and you can even explain exactly why you feel the way you do. And yet, you still feel the same way. Something happens and you feel everything you’ve felt before all over again. Your heart is racing, your stomach is sinking and there goes your head spinning in circles again.
You’re in the right spot if you’ve ever had the thought “maybe this is just the way life is.” If you’re feeling hopeless and even frustrated with yourself, EMDR therapy may be the thing that can finally help. You don’t need to carry this alone for much further. If you’re exhausted by trying to think yourself out of something that is really rooted in nervous system dysregulation, that makes sense. You deserve to feel like yourself in the present and not that the past is ruining your life. I’d love to show you what healing can feel like.
What is EMDR Therapy?
EMDR therapy helps your brain process experiences that have felt overwhelming or traumatic. However, it helps your brain process it more effectively than it did when it first happened. When something overwhelming happens to us, our brain protects ourself by shutting important parts off. The part of our brains that shut off are usually the decision-making part of our brain. This means that during trauma, we’re often unable to problem solve and make decisions. With these important parts of our brain off during these scary moments, we often can feel “stuck” when similar things happen later.
Imagine you trip and fall onto something sharp and it lodges into your arm. Let’s say you’re unable to remove this sharp object. Every time your arm moves, or the object hits against something new, you might feel awful, even similarly to how awful you felt when it first happened. That’s because you likely need the object to be removed in a safe environment. Once that object is removed, your body will likely begin the healing process and you will feel so much better. Over time, when your arm moves or it gets touched in the same spot, you start to feel better. As an EMDR therapist, I want you to think of EMDR counseling as the same for your brain as removal of that sharp object was for your arm.
The Benefits You Can Get From EMDR Therapy
EMDR counseling will help you stop reacting to old pain as if it is happening in the present. In traditional talk therapy (the kind you may see on social media or TV), you usually spend time talking about your past and what’s currently going on. While talking about your struggles has value, EMDR therapy goes deeper than conversation alone. This type of therapy actually works to reprocess these memories in a completely different way. By doing so, the memories that were once distressing now lose their emotional intensity. As a result, your body stops going into panic mode (sometimes described as ‘fight or flight’). Once this shift happens, you’re able to more effectively respond to what is directly in front of you. This gives you the confidence to handle both day to day challenges and even deeper struggles.
Another benefit of EMDR therapy (and one of my personal favs) is the way it strengthens your internal belief system. We all have different beliefs we tell ourselves, whether we realize it or not! Our belief system can range from “I am loveable” and “I am capable” to “The world is dangerous” or “I don’t deserve love.” As we reprocess old memories, those beliefs actually shift. This means that if you’ve been believing you don’t deserve love, EMDR therapy can supporting you in truly feeling that you do deserve love. This can lead to you choosing more relationships that reinforce your new, more positive beliefs about yourself.
Signs You’re Reacting to The Past Instead of The Present
You know those moments where your feelings and reaction are really big? Maybe your significant other makes a harmless comment, and your stomach drops and chest tightens. Or you don’t hear back from your partner for a few hours and suddenly you’re thinking that they must no longer love you or are cheating on you. You may even tell yourself that this isn’t true, but your body doesn’t believe you. These are all signs that underneath this all, you’re reliving something that you thought you had left behind. You might be reacting to the past if you notice:
Your emotional response feels stronger than the situation at hand
You tell yourself something reassuring, but you don’t actually feel better
Your body goes into ‘fight or flight’ and you experience a racing heart or knot in your stomach
At times you shut down, avoid, or overthink situations that you’re not sure warrant it
You replay old memories or conversations long after they’re over
Sometimes you find yourself waiting for the other shoe to drop, even when things are going well
FAQs About EMDR Therapy
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Absolutely! EMDR therapy is very legitimate. There have been more than 30 positive studies done on EMDR and its effectiveness. EMDR has been so researched that it is recognized by several major organizations. The World Health Organization and the American Psychiatric Association both list EMDR as an effective form of treatment.
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At Connected Healing Therapy, EMDR costs $250 per session. We are not currently in network with health insurance. However, we provide the paperwork to receive reimbursement with out of network benefits. The amount of EMDR sessions you need will vary person to person.
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EMDR is safe and effective for many people. There are few situations where it may not be the right approach, at least in the beginning of a therapy journey. EMDR therapy activates many emotional systems, which can feel intense. For clients who do not have grounding skills or emotional regulation strategies, this can be overwhelming. In this situation, we work on these skills first and then move on to EMDR. Doing it this way ensures that the EMDR therapy process feels manageable, instead of overwhelming.
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There are certain medical and psychological conditions that may disqualify you from EMDR therapy. Dissociation, active psychosis, or current substance use may need a different therapeutic approach. Recent medical events, like seizures or heart conditions, may require clearance from a doctor before starting EMDR therapy. A trained therapist will help you determine whether EMDR therapy is appropriate.
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In short, yes. EMDR therapy has been shown in multiple studies to be an effective treatment for anxiety. Studies show that EMDR is also effective for PTSD, phobias, panic, and more. Evidence is even beginning to suggest that EMDR therapy can be as effective as certain anxiety medications.
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In the first few sessions of EMDR, we will focus on your history and getting to know you. This will also help build the relationship between you and the therapist. Then, you and the therapist will go over skills that you can use on your own and/or throughout EMDR sessions. After that, you’ll develop a treatment plan with the incidents and memories that you’d like to target.
Once we pick which memory to work on first, your therapist will use bilateral stimulation while you are focusing on that memory. I know, bilateral stimulation sounds intimidating! But, it is as simple as using sounds, tapping, or eye movements. This type of stimulation allows for deeper processing of memories and emotions.
During this EMDR phase, your mind does most of the work. Your therapist guides you through a few of these bilateral stimulation sets. Afterwards, you'll discuss a bit what's happening for you. Over a few of these sets, the memory you picked starts to feel easier to think about. Once this occurs, we may pick a new memory to work on. We will continue this until you feel like EMDR therapy has been successful.
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How long you do EMDR sessions will vary. This can depend on your treatment plan and how the treatment is impacting you. EMDR can sometimes be a shorter treatment span, such as 5-6 sessions. More often, it can require more sessions and may take somewhere around 12-13 sessions. Yet, this is no guarantee. Once you begin working with your therapist, you will both get an understanding of what the length of treatment may look like.
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First and foremost, you’ll feel better! If EMDR counseling is working, you’ll start to notice positive changes in the symptoms that brought you to therapy. You may feel less anxious, stressed, or depressed. You might also notice less conflict in your relationships or an easier time in social settings. In general, feelings of panic and ‘fight or flight’ fade. If they still come up, you’ll feel more confident in your ability to manage them.. Many people say they knew EMDR was working when they felt light, calmer, and more grounded. Each person’s progress looks different, whether gradual or more noticeable, but progress always includes feeling better long term.
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This depends. Some people find that EMDR brings them relief and clarity early on. For others, they may temporarily feel worse. Typically, this is because they’ve noticed an increase in emotional sensitivity. If EMDR does feel worse before better, it is very normal and almost always short-term. It is not a sign that EMDR therapy isn’t working but rather a sign that your brain is beginning to reprocess something differently.
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The short-term effects of EMDR vary from person to person but are usually manageable. The most common side effects I hear are increased dreams and feeling more tired than usual. Increased dreams are often a sign that your brain is continuing the work we did in your sleep. Some people may also notice increased emotional sensitivity or vivid memories. Many people also feel more positive short-term effects from EMDR. Some people experience a sense of relief or clarity right away. You may also notice tension or discomfort in your body clear up shortly after EMDR as well. If anything feels too intense between sessions, your therapist is there to help you adjust to the pace and feel more comfortable.
The Connected Healing Therapy Approach
Begin EMDR Therapy at Connected Healing Therapy in NYC & NJ
You don’t have to keep living with anxiety, overwhelm, and relationship stress. If you feel like all the words in the world aren’t enough to make you truly feel better, EMDR therapy may be right for you. EMDR counseling at our NJ and NYC-based therapy practice can help you finally feel calmer, more in control, and more grounded in the present. Ultimately, it can help you believe the reassuring things you want to so badly believe. That you are worthy, that you are capable of healthy relationships, that you deserve to feel better. Connected Healing Therapy has caring therapists trained in EMDR and are here to support you in reaching your mental health goals.
At Connected Healing Therapy, EMDR is an important and valuable tool in treatment. While we use many different treatment modalities, EMDR therapy has meaningful results. Especially for clients who have tried other forms of therapy and still aren’t feeling better. We take the time to understand your story and the parts of your life that you’re hoping to change. From there, we then create a personalized EMDR treatment plan tailored to the shifts you want to see.
Our EMDR approach is a mixture of education, grounding skills, and bilateral stimulation. Additionally, when a break is needed, we can have a session where we simply chat about what your week was like. Sometimes, we can support you with that instead. We collaborate closely with you to reduce anxiety and any other distressing symptoms you’re noticing. Our goal is this: long-term healing that aligns with the goals and life YOU want.